BRITNEY LIVES ON MY STREET

It's true.



I was reading the following news blurb about recent events in Ms. Spears' life. I bolded, redded, italicized and underlined the phrase that made my eyeballs socket-burst from my head:

Spears' Hospital Escort Prompts New "Britney Law"

Britney Spears is to have a law in Los Angeles named after her
- because it was her $24,000 police escort to hospital last month
which prompted councilmen to propose the amendment. The troubled
pop star was taken from her Coldwater Canyon home to UCLA
Medical Center on January 31 in an ambulance with a motorcade

GAAAAAAAAAH! No wonder my favorite haunts have been name-checked on Perezhilton recently. I mean, I knew I worked 5 minutes from where she shaved her head. Then there was the day she stopped for food at the Sharky's next door to my office....she immediately went to the Little Brown Church 2 minutes from my apartment after she lost custody of her kids, and then shopped at my local DSW that same weekend as well as having sex with Adnan naked in the Betsy Johnson at the mall I go to...as well as reuniting with her mom at my local Long's Pharmacy...but STILL I didn't know gurl and I lived ON THE SAME STREET. SERIOUSLY...$24,000?! I'm paying taxes so my crazy neighbor, who happens to be a mega famous pop icon, can be protected from the paparazzi she's partying with?!

My life in Los Angeles has taken a new and bizarre twist...